"Let the Cowboys ride!" It's something when Ron Washington is the longest-tenured coach in Dallas-Fort Worth. But there's something to be said for winning. Wash did it. Phillips didn't.
Had Phillips tied one off and shot heroin in his arm at halftime, he probably would have had a better shot at keeping his job at 5-3 than he would've at 1-7 and clean.
Then again, Avery Johnson, Jimmy Johnson, Ken Hitchcock, Bill Parcells and Dave Tippett did quite a bit of winning, too, and they wound up on the street.
In honor of Wade, here are 10 things I'll miss about the ol' hillbilly:
10. The Drawl
There was something boyishly innocent about Wade. In fact, it's really hard to hate the guy even though I do. At his core, Wade was a dumb country kid, who'd been raised in a football family with a famous daddy, who coached the game. His country accent represents this history. It's hard to imagine that a guy like Wade (a fat, older, backwards) could get a job with the Dallas Cowboys. In a way, Jerry Jones has never been able to embrace a certain new breed of coaching. I think that's why he'll never hire a college coach. Phillips is really no different from Bill Parcells. The latter happens to be from New Jersey. Phillips is no different from Chan Gailey, Dave Campo or Jimmy Johnson. All are old-school representatives of the game. None of them understand these antagonistic media folk or these blogs and Internets.
Wade wore his clothes like he was playing dress up. Like he was getting to wear his brand-new Dallas Cowboys baseball cap or he was getting to wear his thick coat during a game outdoors up north. He ran and played. He jumped and high fived. Wade was just kind of the goofball jock in high school that could be pretty nice at times and a dick at other times.
9. The Daughter
Rick Carlisle's daughter doesn't look this good.
8. The Hand To The Face
Remember the Seinfeld episode where they discuss the phenomena when a person is asked about romantic relationship and in the middle of the answer, he or she touches his or her face? The higher on the face the person goes, the worse the relationship no matter the answer. Phillips was known for putting his hands on his head. And it was never good.
7. The Dash
I would suspect Phillips dashed down the sidelines during a good play the same way he ran when Bum would take him fishing or there'd be a new Mayberry R.F.D. on the TV set. Humorous is an understatement. That pudgy body going as fast as it can with those hamhock legs pushing and stretching. A fist raised in elation. His bangs wafting through the air. Jubilation.
6. The Press Conferences
Chippy after a loss. Chipper after a win. I give Phillips credit: He kept the Dallas-Fort Worth media at bay. Which isn't that hard. Local media is like Jamie Moyer: They haven't thrown a ball hard in 20 years. Still, Phillips would work up some random stat that made him look good and the media just kind of worked through it. At his worst, Phillips was a condescending dick and had little respect for the media (and by proxy) the fans. Near the end, the fight had gone out of Phillips and the media knew it and let the old man die.
5. The Mittens
Technically, not mittens. More like gloves. If I skiied, I would suspect I would wear these to keep warm. They're big and bulky. Forget typing or changing the batteries in your Wii remote. The thing is, they looked ridiculous because a majority of the time, he never wore them when it was really cold. For example, he wore them last week in Green Bay. Granted, it was cold (42 degrees), but Mike McCarthy was OK. Other coaches and players looked OK. Furthermore, he would also wear them without a large winter jacket. Again, in Green Bay he had the long-sleeved shirt with the big gloves. He might as well have been wearing shorts.
4. The Little Buckaroo Haircut
Phillips has had the same haircut for 40 years. I would assume he's had just two his his life: The crewcut and the current coif. I would almost bet that his wife cuts it or he's gone to the same barber since he was coaching with his daddy in New Orleans. It's especially funny looking when he runs because the waft of bangs would catch a little air and flutter. It was rather cute.
3. The Look
You know the look. TV telecasts know it well. It's the moment when something horribly bad happened to the Cowboys and the camera pans close on Phillips' face. It wasn't disgust or disappointment. More like awe or dismay. A certain blankness that can not be described in words. Sometimes it evolved into a look of confusion. I like this one a lot. I might be underrating it.
2. The Final Eight
Following the Cowboys' utterly demoralizing loss in the division round of the playoffs to the New York Giants, Phillips had the gall to come to the media (following a 13-3 season and Super Bowl aspirations) and brag that the Cowboys had achieved Elite Eight status in the league as one of the top eight teams in the league. I question how much coaches and players read newspapers, watch SportsCenter or look at stats. I'm sure Phillips was addicted to them. Every press conference -- mostly after a loss -- was a new stat and some new tidbit that somehow made Philips look good. Unfortunately, losing is losing and the lack of accountability helped bring along his downfall.
1. The Fake Wade
There are a ton of bits I could live without on The Ticket (Bear Trap of the Week anyone?), but one I've always loved and one that I made an actual ... gulp! ... appointment to listen to was the weekly Fake Wade-Fake Jerry show on Monday mornings. George Dunham had mastered it. And his "Hi Craig" this season made me laugh every time. I'll miss Fake Wade more than I would miss any actual coach or manager in this city.
