Yep, that's Rory McIlroy on a fucking cupcake It's Rory McIlroy, the 21-year-old dimpled Irishman who, if you haven't heard, won the U.S. Open by a billion strokes while having a happy-go-lucky, aw-shucks smirk with that shaggy haircut burrowing out from under that baseball cap. He probably doesn't need to save. He's played golf since he was a kid. He's been viewed as the Messiah. He had an emotional moment with his overbearing father when he finished his round.
Yeah, it sounds like Tiger Woods in 1997.
The more and more I've thought about the bullshit that's befallen Woods the last two years the more I've realized that he's gotten a bad shake. Yes, he cheated on his wife and he is a A No. 1 asshole for doing it (or doing them ... so to speak). However, he's not unlike anyone else. Why we are so angry is because Woods painted himself as a family man and all that bullshit. Again, he's not unlike anyone else.
We -- fans, media, spectators -- put these limitations on Woods and other celebrities and we see them as being beyond the basic carnal reflexes that wind many in jail for messing around with kids or raping women and send the rest of us to Internet porn.
We think celebrities or politicians who should be solely interested in their short game or running a country don't like to get laid. When we learn that they're as nitwitted as the rest of us, we get angry, for zero reason.
We love McIlroy the same way we all loved Woods in 1996. The kid that was a phenom and had known nothing but golf. The kid that had a weird relationship with his dad. The kid that was better than everyone else.
It's the same. McIlroy might win about six or 10 Majors. He could catch Jack Nicklaus. He is also going to get married. To some foxy chick because athletes get all the girls. More than likely, they will have children. There will be portraits. There will be blurred paparazzi shots of them -- sunglassed and in windbreakers -- taking walks and shit.
There will also be other women. There might be drugs or alcohol. There will be unfair expectations.
In fact, McIlroy has a better chance at winding up like Tiger than Jack. Because there is one Jack. There are millions of Tigers -- dudes with a divorce, alimony, a bad knee and shitty golf game.
