The son of Buddy in for the son of Bum

Son of a gun

Rob Ryan -- the brother of Rex, son of Buddy -- is the new defensive coordinator for the Dallas Cowboys.

Frankly, I could give a shit. A new defensive coordinator isn't fixing what's wrong.

Still, I took time to evaluate the reactions from the local media, and this is what I surmised:

Rob Ryan is a good hire. Why?

1. Because he might be eccentric and loud like his brother and father.

2. Because of his brother and father.

3. Because it was more Jason Garrett's decision (we assume!) than Jerry Jones'.

That's it. There was no talk about how Ryan took bad Raiders or Browns teams and coached them up, at least getting their defense so good that they could compete.

No talk of Ryan's understanding of the 3-4 defense or his schemes, blitz patterns, ability to relate to the players or anything that might actually impact what happens on the field. The field being where football, a game, is played.

I don't think this is a good sign. Wade Phillips came in with skins on the wall. He was a noted defensive coach and the proof was in the pudding: He'd take rotten defenses and make them great.

Ryan's made no one great, or even good. Even his brother, who talks insane amount of shit, can say he's been a defensive "whiz." Rob can say nothing of the sort.

Anyway, come next September, he'll have no excuses.

The coaching carousel goes 'round

Uncle Remus

Reason No. 435 as to why Wade Phillips is the worst coach in Dallas Cowboys history: The defense, which he was going to put over the edge, is in shambles.

Remember, under Bill Parcells, the defense wasn't bad. It was quite good. But it wasn't Super Bowl-calibre. You didn't have defensive ends flying around the edges. There wasn't bone-crunching sacks, fumbles and interceptions. The Cowboys were really solid. Not great.

Phillips was supposed to change that. Not only did all of that not happen, but things actually backfired into the complete opposite direction.

The secondary is a COMPLETE disaster. The front three are not as good as we thought. The linebackers are A) thin and B) old.

Jerry Jones made a very poignant comment following the loss to the Arizona Cardinals. Pissed, he said that Jason Garrett's position was not secure because he had as much to do with the 1-7 start as Phillips or anyone else.

Garrett's here. Everyone else ...

Ray Sherman is out. Paul Pasqualoni was hired by Connecticut to coach its team. Tight ends coach John Garrett's interviewing with Miami. O-line coach Hudson Houck's retiring and former Cowboys great Dan Campbell's interviewing there.

The Dallas Cowboys, if nothing else, will have a new look to them. Kinda.

To Pasqualoni, yes, he was dealt some bad cards and had to try to make better smelling chicken shit out of chicken shit. Still, I don't understeand what Connecticut sees in him.

Now, Jason Garrett must find a defensive coordinator. Vic Fangio and Greg Manusky were initially interviewed. Both are thought to wind up with San Francisco and San Diego, respectively.

Garrett now will supposedly interview Remus "Rob" Ryan, Rex' twin brother and Buddy's other son, for the spot along with former Cowboys great Ray Horton, the current secondary coach for the Pittsburgh Steelers.

If you don't know Ryan, you've more than likely seen him. He looks ridiculous. Mostly unshaven and quite obese, he sports a flowing head of grey hair. It's like a mane.

Games, however, are won by execution. Not hair.

Honestly, Ryan seems like a guy that's gotten gigs based on the reputation of his brother and his father.

His best year came in 2010 -- with Eric Mangini gone, Ryan is probably not welcome in Cleveland -- when he took a bad Browns team and had them 14th in points allowed in the league. His defense was also near the top in interceptions. Unfortunately, they were ranked 22nd in yards allowed and near the botton in sacks and forced fumbles.

Ryan spent five ignominious years in Oakland before that. And they sucked.

Maybe Ryan's numbers are the product of the team. But don't good coordinators, over time, make areas on a bad team, good?

Horton kind of rose along with Mike Tomlin in the organization. He was named defensive backs coach by Tomlin in 2007. Tomlin, of course, knows good defensive backs coach having been in Tampa Bay from 2001-2005 during their heyday.

As defensive backs coach in Pittsburgh, Horton had the best pass defense in the league in 2008. That slipped to 16th in 2009 and back up to 12th in 2010.

If I had to pick one, I'd go with Horton. He's an up and comer and, seemingly, hungry. He has something to prove. That's kinda what this team needs more than anything.

Jason Garrett was the man all along, idiots

Jason and the search for the Golden Fleece

Listen you dumb motherfuckers, your local newspaper wants to let you know just how smart they are.

Nevermind that they have crummy, underappreciated journalism degrees like a lot of other people.

Yesterday, the Dallas Cowboys officially removed the "interim" tag from Jason Garrett and made him the eighth head coach of this storied franchise.

And guess what, morons: The Dallas Morning News knew it was the right choice all along. Forget the last two months of hemming and hawing about who the Cowboys should and could interview and about whether Garrett's the right man.

Shit. These dudes are smart.

Bill Nichols (who I shouldn't pick on) states that hiring Garrett allows the Cowboys the quickest rebound from 2010 in order to capitalize on the prime years of certain players, like Tony Romo, Jason Witten and DeMarcus. With Garrett, the Cowboys can role with the offense (which we can only assume is any good) and just remake the defense and make a run.

The problem here is that it's just a story filled with quotes from players. The same players that had the same glowing quotes about Wade Phillips.

Then there's Tim Cowlishaw, whose story is accompanied by this headline:

"Garrett a better fit for Cowboys job over Super Bowl-winning coaches"

I'm intrigued. Cowlishaw is on TV, so he must have a 5,000-word column substantiating this very bold headline. Surely. Right?

Eh:

"Simply put, Garrett seems the right man for the job. But it's not the sexiest hire to Cowboys fans who have been drooling over the image of a Bill Cowher or Jon Gruden walking the Dallas sideline. Garrett is the better fit than those Super Bowl-winning coaches, and all you really need to do to understand that is look around the NFL playoff scene this weekend. Seattle's Pete Carroll, returning to the NFL after a successful (if we can still call it that) run at Southern Cal, is the exception. The other seven head coaches were NFL assistants and coordinators and are head coaches for the first time."

So, there are thousands currently out of work in Dallas-Fort Worth and Cowlishaw is somehow picking up a paycheck for this?

He points to Pete Carroll, who was AWFUL at New England his first go round, is the head coach of the most embarrassing development in the NFL of the past decade by bringing a 7-9 Seattle team to the playoffs.

Cowlishaw somehow correlates Carroll's ability to take a losing team to the playoffs to that of winning a Super Bowl like Jon Gruden or Bill Cowher -- both of whom apparently have a 100 times more integrity than Carroll, who oversaw a long line of cheating at USC and jumped ship. What a turd. Cowlishaw undermines two Super Bowl-winning coaches and props up a losing NFL coach in about 100 words. Nice!

Here's the rub with the hire: Jerry Jones has flubbed just about every non-Johnson and non-Parcells decision as general manager, to the point that trust with the fans is at an all-time low.

So we expect him to make the right decision with Garrett?

He screw up the Jimmy Johnson era. He fired Chan Gailey too soon. He hired Dave Campo. He ran Bill Parcells crazy. And he took a lazy and uninspired approach in hiring Wade Phillips.

Next: He took less than a week to determine that, yes, Jason Garrett is the answer. Maybe he is and maybe he isn't. But Jones did not take any real time to make a good decision. For all we know, he did not even seriously talk with Cowher, Gruden or any other assistant, college coach or former head coach.

Garrett was hired because:

1. Nichols is right, Garrett's familiarity with the team.

2. Garrett is cheaper than Cowher or Gruden heading into a possible lost season.

3. Garrett knows the score. He knows who signs the paychecks, has final say on players and makes the decisions. A convenient truth that our local media would soon pass over.

Jones put no thought into this decision, like he does a lot of decisions, and it might bite him in the ass and we'll go through all of this again in four years.

In my heart of hearts, I hope Garrett has a better fate than his predecessors. I think he's operates above the fray in terms of pandering to the spoiled fanbase and the testicle-less media. He's a different animal and I can appreciate that.

Broken windows

Baby steps

There is a very popular theory among criminologists that you have probably heard about it.

It's the "Broken Window Theory." It's been written about ad nauseum. If you've heard or read anything concerning Rudy Guiliani's clean-up of New York City, then you are familiar with it.

The crux of the theory is that if you fix the small things (say, a broken window) then it has a domino effect of major crime in a particular neighborhood or area.

In "The Tipping Point," Malcolm Gladwell goes into detail concerning how the officials of the New York City subway system began battling major crimes like assault, rape and muggings by cleaning the subway cars and catching people that jump the turnstile.

If you stop the small infractions, it prevents an escalation of the big infractions.

It's popular. New York City, The Netherlands, Albuequerque and Lowell, Mass. have all instituted some form of the "Broken Windows Theory" and it's had its share of successes.

I think Jason Garrett, head coach of the Dallas Cowboys, is a supporter of the "Broken Windows Theory."

Yesterday, a lot was made of Garrett skirting questions regarding Marion Barber being fined for a dress code violation.

Garrett, when he was named the head coach eight days ago, instituted a number of "new" standards for the Cowboys. A dress code on game day. Requiring players to show up to meetings on time or the room's door is locked. Forcing players to practice in pads on Wednesday. Earlier practice times.

What does this have to do with winning football games? Actually, very little. It's not like the Cowboys weren't practicing or watching tape. Getting to Valley Ranch at 8 a.m. rather than 9 a.m. doesn't make you tackle an opponent better or catch the football.

But those were "broken windows." Kind of coming in whenever was a broken window. Playing dominoes or cards in the locker room was a broken window. Looking like a slob on game day was a broken window.

All were "broken windows" that Wade Phillips (along with probably a lot of coaches) ignored, instead setting his focus on the larger issues -- like penalties, dropped passes, blown coverages, bad tackling, turnovers and effort.

Garrett, I think, believes that the coming in late for meetings, sloppy dress, card games and lackadaisical practices translate into penalties, turnovers and blown coverages.

For one week, it's worked. For at least one week, fans and dudes like me are interested. Fans are used to bad teams. There's not a city in the United States that hasn't had some extended amount of poor play. But we tolerate certain teams if they're good people or something we can proud of. At the very least, Garrett wants his team to be something we can all be proud of.

Garrett is fixing the "broken windows." He thinks it'll fix the major issues. I might be crazy enough to work. Will it be enough?