Tony Romo's getting married Saturday and I haven't even gotten my invitation

The brushing blind

\Where's the ceremony? When is the ceremony? What should I where? Where are they registered?

You know what. It's too late. I've got plans anyway. So, Tony Homo, you can take you stupid wedding, stick it in your pocket and kiss my black ass.

Have fun with the hot guy from Gossip Girl's sister. Good luck keeping Jerry Jones sober. He'll wind up with the punch bowl on his head doing karate chops and honking your mom's boob.

Doesn't NorthPark Center security know who Dez Bryant is?

Dez Bryant loves the Sunglass Hut

Dallas Cowboys receiver Dez Bryant was apparently "keepin' it real" at Dallas-Fort Worth's marquee shopping mall and he got busted for it.

He was given a criminal trespass warning at NorthPark Center for a disturbance after off-duty police officer cum mall security stopped him and his crew for their pants fall down below their waist.

I have nothing against "keepin' it real" and whatnot. But here are some ground rules:

1. You don't "keep it real" at NorthPark Center. Why? Because it's full of snooty white folks. It's like "The Wire" not taking place in urban Baltimore, but on Martha's Vineyard or the Lincoln Memorial.

2. Are we still "bagging" our jeans? Really?!? Come on, Dez. You're a grown man now. If you're going to "keep it real," at least get caught with a dimebag or a handgun. This is the professionals.

3. What are we still doing at malls? Why "keep it real" at malls? Is it cool being at Neiman Marcus? Burberry? Gucci? Hugo Boss? Lids? Or the Apple store? Malls are dumb to begin with. Pretending to be cool at malls is nothing short than a cry for help.

Of course, Jerry Jones would've given a kidney to have his 1990s Cowboys get a criminal trespass citation at a mall in lieu of their actual infractions.

Dallas Cowboys seem to think there won't be a 2011-12 season

Atogwe

The NFL-player's association talks are still going on. I think they extended the existing CBA another week so they can keep talking with no walk out. Good for them.

I appears the Dallas Cowboys are set for a 12-month lay-off because free agents are flying off the board and I don't think Jerry Jones has even lifted a finger.

Shaun Rogers is a New Orleans Saint. Bob Sanders a San Diego Charger. Oshiomogho Atogwe is a Washington Redskin.

Hell. I haven't even heard a good Dallas Cowboys rumor.

By all accounts, the Cowboys attended the NFL Combine, cut Gerald Sensabaugh and Marcus Spears and little else.

Mind you, this is a team that could use some help at offensive, the secondary, defensive line, maybe receiver and linebacker.

Remember: IT'S A FIVE-WIN TEAM.

I think everyone's convinced that if Tony Romo hadn't broken his collarbone against the New York Giants last fall that they would have been fine. That is not altogether true. It's impossible to predict if the Cowboys would have won more games. It's equally impossible to prove that Romo's play would have won games against Philadelphia, Arizona or Washington.

The team's flawed. It goes beyond Romo. It might include Romo. Who knows?

All I know is that Jones is sitting on his hands and doing nothing. Cowboys fans should be pissed. They're not, of course.

Lunatics running the asylum.

Cam Newton, Tim Cowlishaw and the Dallas Cowboys

Juice Newton

The NFL Combine is this weekend. The Dallas Cowboys are attending, of course. They have the No. 9 pick in the draft, mind you, and they'll be smart to keep a close eye on everyone that might drop to them.

This probably includes the Auburn quarterback Cam Newton. Much-ballyhooed. Much-maligned. Much-criticized.

The Cowboys have announced they'll interview Newton this weekend.

This comes on the heels of Dallas Morning News columnist Tim Cowlishaw stating that the Cowboys should take Newton.

As soon as I saw this story, I immediately thought to myself, "Is Tim Cowlishaw actively hoping ESPN gives him a job?"

I haven't seen pandering and grandstanding in the media like this maybe ever. Jean-Jacques Taylor is lazy. But he'd never do this.

This is Randy Galloway-like. Make a grand statement. Ruffle feathers. Sit back and watch your Twitter followers grow.

This point was brought up the next morning on The Ticket in a brief comment on how Cowlishaw's been on TV too long. It's a ridiculous column filled with ridiculous thoughts.

I'm not high on Tony Romo and if you can address the quarterback position for 2014 right now, I say you do it. However, Newton, probably, is not the answer and everyone knows it.

There are things to consider.

Jerry Jones is probably the worst media manipulator in the world. Every draft season, he'll obviously go into the media and try to mask the Cowboys' intentions. Every year, he makes some outrageous comment to the media about taking a kicker, quarterback or linebacker. Saying he'll talk to Newton seems like another sneaky ploy from the wildcatter.

Also, consider that Jerry Jones is an idiot. He's the man that passed on Randy Moss and the man who didn't pass on Quincy Carter. He has a history of drafting poorly and if Roger Goodell should tell us on draft day that with the No. 9 pick in the 2011 NFL Draft that the Cowboys take Cam Newton from Auburn University it would honestly not shock me in the least! And it shouldn't you either. If Newton had gone to Arkansas, they'd already be negotiating a contract, CBA or no.

What I don't get is that Newton is obviously a trap, in the words of Admiral Ackbar. The fleet-footed, big college quarterback that has the big arm, who played in the simplest offense in the history of college football and was mired in NCAA violation talk as much as he was national championship talk.

It almost seems so bad that it might actually be good. Or seem bad and actually be bad.

He's either Vince Young (marginally good, considerably nutty), JaMarcus Russell (noticeably fat, notably awful) or Daunte Culpepper (remarkably good).

The key to all of this is Tony Romo. If the Cowboys spend a top 10 pick on a back-up quarterback, it would outrage the fans. However, when did Jones really care about the fans?

Who he does care about is Tony Romo. I think Jones loves Romo. I think he loves Romo in a way that is very different then the way he loves any other player.

Romo's confidence may be shot. Or he might say, "We're good enough to make a run here, why spend a prime draft pick on a useless piece when we could use a cornerback or tackle?" That, I think, is the main reason the Dallas Cowboys will not take Cam Newton.

Total chaos

Who needs lyrics?

I wanted to take some time to consider the debacle that was Super Bowl XLV, known as the North Texas Super Bowl.

Consider the seating travesty. The botched national anthem. The weather. The injuries due to the falling ice. The seemingly countless number of stolen laptops and briefcases with "sensitive" information. The gates being closed. The fingerpointing.

I was talking with a friend yesterday, and I asked, "Why can't we do anything right?"

Two weeks before the Super Bowl, I wrote a small post about the Super Bowl not seeming real. As if there were all these things that should be happening that weren't. That absence, that void did not feel right.

Quite literally, between the time we learned the area got a Super Bowl, Dallas, Fort Worth and the surrounding areas haven't changed. I dare the city of Arlington to show me all the hotels that were supposed to go up. No alternative means of transportation were brought in. Nothing was done to deal with traffic.

All we had was that dumb stadium. I actually kind of hate that stadium now. It represents how disastrous the last week has been and how embarrassed I was seeing outsiders skate across highways, brave cold temperatures, write stories based little on the game and more all the inane bullshit that surrounded it.

It was Dallas-Fort Worth's time to shine. Instead, it drooped and waited for someone or something to save it.

There were ways to anticipate all of this. There was a chance that bad weather would hit the area in February. A week before, we knew it was coming. Why wasn't salt used? Why weren't more trucks brought in. Not just more for Dallas and Fort Worth. I mean as many trucks as Chicago or Boston might have in a icy, wintery storm.

Then there's the seating issue. Clearly, it was an inept confluence of the fire marshal/city, Jerry Jones, the NFL and the contractor just fucking everything up.

Only in Dallas. Where our general manager and the guy putting this shindig together is seen photographed at bars and clubs with girls that could be his granddaughters.

Only in a city where a jock-sniffing city councilman would give a Philadelphia Eagle -- and convicted felon -- a key to the city. Whilst there was a 100 percent chance that same councilman would not give Ben Roethlisberger even a punch in the arm. And we know why -- and it has nothing to do with rape as much as it does race.

Only in a city that allows the marquee franchise to build their world-renown stadium in a suburb. Then invest $50 million in a football stadium that no one wants to play in.

Only in a city that allows its best and foremost baseball player get so disgruntled that he wants a trade from a World Series team.

For whatever reason, we can do nothing right.

We do not deserve another Super Bowl. I hope we don't get one. It's just another opportunity to screw it up.

Super Bowl update, Thursday edition

I have actually read and heard very little about the potential work stoppage and collective bargaining agreement during this week celebrating the NFL. I understand the NFL playing it down. But why the players?

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Jeff Pearlman looks back at Super Bowl XXX, the Steelers-Cowboys match-up. Did not realize that the Cowboys were 13.5 point favorites. Neil O'Donnell. Larry Brown.

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Gambling!

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It wasn't long ago that everyone thought Charles Woodson was washed up. Today, he's probably the best cornerback (possibly defender) in the NFL.

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Jerry Jones and a 22-GAME SEASON!!!!!

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Ben Roethlisberger goes a-drinking at Pete's Piano Bar, douchebag central to begin with. Nobody has a problem with the drinking. It's the raping we cringe at.

Four things that'll sink the Super Bowl

The shitty of ... city of Dallas

The thing with Jerry Jones getting that gigantic stadium built wasn't about getting the 2011 Super Bowl.

It was about getting the 2011, 2016 and 2021 Super Bowls. It was about Dallas-Fort Worth-Arlington being in the regular Super Bowl city rotation.

New Orleans. Miami. San Diego. Tampa.

Dallas.

With that said, Dallas-Fort Worth and all the cities in between, on top and in bottom (and ... that's what she said) need to absolutely nail this Super Bowl. (and ...)

This next week will be a mix of a house showing, meeting your girlfriend's parents for the first time, interviewing a counselor for potential adoption and preparing to meet with Child Protective Services.

For the record, I said last week I didn't feel the Super Bowl is real. I feel this way because there was almost zero infrastructure changes made. Aside from some new, expanded or changed roadways around the Cowboys Stadium, there's been little changes to our infrastructure. And I think a lot of our infrastructure is flawed for welcoming thousands of outsiders for a week.

Here are four things Jones, Roger Staubach and others do not want to happen.

Bad Weather
Last year, it fucking snowed during the NBA All-Star Weekend. The NFL loves warm, comfortable weather -- dome or no. Indianapolis will not get a second Super Bowl. Neither will New York/New Jersey. Rotation cities are warm-weather cities. Dallas needs mid-60s or low-70s, no precipitation or "Texas" weather ("Don't like the weather in Texas? Just wait 15 minutes!) (The forecast has us at high-50s.)

Dallas vs. Fort Worth
I attended a girls' high school basketball tournament in Parker County. I organizers I was from Dallas. The dude said, "You know you're west of 360. That's Fort Worth territory." Literally. Note: Fort Worth is in Tarrant County and Hwy. 360 is a slab of asphalt that allegedly means something.

I saw Dallas Cowboys great Walt Garrison taking a dump on Dallas on TV the other day. I've lived in this area for a long, long time (like, 26 years) and I never truly realized the alleged anonmosity between these cities. Actually, I htink it's like Texas vs. Texas A&M. A&M (Fort Worth) really cares a lot. Texas (Dallas) doesn't care. Dallas appreciates and likes to contrast itself from Fort Worth. Meanwhile, Fort Worth goes out of its way to trash Dallas' traffic, crime, attitude and fast-paced lifestyle. Nevermind Fort Worth's traffic and ... um ... crime. Just hope the bickering and bullshit doesn't bleed over to our visitors who just want to know where to get some barbecue.

Traffic
I have a long commute. I drive a lot in and around the Metroplex. Traffic has been pretty good as of late. However, this is without the thousands of rental cars that will come with the media, fans, visitors, corporate jackwagons, NFL folk and team people this weekend. Dallas-Fort Worth has no real public transportation so these people will no choice but to get on the roads. And none of them will know alternate routes or the various other highways available for traffic. Good luck if you're on 360, I-35, I-20 and I-30.

People Get Bored
Fort Worth is fine. It has a downtown. I wouldn't get out of downtown becuase you might get stabbed in the face. However, the Stockyards, Sundance Square and the bulk of downtown Fort Worth will provide visitors plenty of shit to do.

Dallas and Arlington? Yikes. The thing with Dallas is that it has more actual areas for strip clubs, bars and restaurants, but you can't find them unless you know where they're at. There's Greenville, Knox-Henderson, Uptown, Northwest Highway and the like should be popular places to frequent. Explain that to the guy from Chicago, Seattle, Norfolk and Miami. It might become too much and they get bored and restless. Journalists need their strip clubs and alcohol.

The Rooney Rule

Wins -- not race -- go a long way

I don't expect Jean-Jacques Taylor, one of the worthless columnists at The Dallas Morning News, to have a viable opinion, so I shouldn't get so worked up when he mails in another column.
Yesterday, he opined that the Rooney Rule was working because the number of minority coaches was increasing the NFL.

His arguments:

1. As soon as there is a minority coach as bad as, say, Rich Kotite or Dave Shula, then the Rooney Rule can be changed.

2. The Rooney Rule worked once: with Mike Tomlin in Pittsburgh.

That's it. Taylor is getting paid pretty good money to write this tripe and it should make everyone, including every minority out there, sick that he's cowtowing to a bullshit, worthless and offensive sort of Jim Crow laws that marred this country and forever remain as a pockmark on this country.

The Rooney Rule forces an NFL owner to give an interview to a minority candidate. There are no rules as to whether that interview has to be an actual interview. When Jerry Jones hired Bill Parcells, he gave Dennis Green a 20-minute phone interview.

The Rooney Rule is no different than Jim Crow laws of "equal but separate." It's no different than patting an African American on the condescendingly on the head and telling them to drink from his own water fountain that is in disuse and disrepair.

It's no different than sending a African American child to his or her own school with out-of-date and used books in a building unfit for even an eight-hour habitation.

The Rooney Rule sends race relations in this country back 40 years. Even white people know this.

Taylor, per usual, forgets just how bad Mike Singletary, Art Shell and Dennis Green have been. Being an awful coach knows no color already. If you need a bad minority coach to make the Rooney Rule dumb, it's already happened.

He also does not mention Ray Sherman. He was the African American wide receivers coach for the Dallas Cowboys. He was given a token interview by Jerry Jones (who hires a wide receivers coach?) even though everyone on the planet Earth knew it was going to Jason Garrett.

Why Taylor does not mention this is ludicrous and just beyond comprehension!

Not only did Sherman not get the job, but he was subsequently fired yesterday. Maybe he wanted out. Maybe Garrett wanted him out.

Either way, that was a travesty. A comedy of errors and a gigantic scar on the NFL and the United States.

Mike Tomlin does not make the Rooney Rule right. Just as getting their own school, water fountain, bathroom or side of town makes segregation right.

The Rooney Rule can have a use. Except it shouldn't be used for the head coach. Instead, institute it for assistants. Again, no one was hiring Sherman as a head coach after being a wide receivers coach. But if he were an offensive coordinator, he might have a shot in four or five years. Head coaches are hired based on race, white or black. They're based on experience.

Wade Phillips was hired due to his knowledge of the 3-4 defense and his personal influence on a highly-ranked San Diego defense. Not because he was white.

However, he's a wash out. Like Green, Singletary and Shell. Being a bum sees no color.

Taylor knows what will put more African Americans in coaching roles: Success. Wins. Highly-ranked offenses. Super Bowls. Playoff wins. Defenses that pop the snot out of you. He knows this, yet he puts forth a half-assed effort to support a derogatory rule.

I found Taylor's column short sighted, dumb and downright offensive and if he truly believes that shit that he was writing, then I have even less respect for the man than I already did.

Jason Garrett was the man all along, idiots

Jason and the search for the Golden Fleece

Listen you dumb motherfuckers, your local newspaper wants to let you know just how smart they are.

Nevermind that they have crummy, underappreciated journalism degrees like a lot of other people.

Yesterday, the Dallas Cowboys officially removed the "interim" tag from Jason Garrett and made him the eighth head coach of this storied franchise.

And guess what, morons: The Dallas Morning News knew it was the right choice all along. Forget the last two months of hemming and hawing about who the Cowboys should and could interview and about whether Garrett's the right man.

Shit. These dudes are smart.

Bill Nichols (who I shouldn't pick on) states that hiring Garrett allows the Cowboys the quickest rebound from 2010 in order to capitalize on the prime years of certain players, like Tony Romo, Jason Witten and DeMarcus. With Garrett, the Cowboys can role with the offense (which we can only assume is any good) and just remake the defense and make a run.

The problem here is that it's just a story filled with quotes from players. The same players that had the same glowing quotes about Wade Phillips.

Then there's Tim Cowlishaw, whose story is accompanied by this headline:

"Garrett a better fit for Cowboys job over Super Bowl-winning coaches"

I'm intrigued. Cowlishaw is on TV, so he must have a 5,000-word column substantiating this very bold headline. Surely. Right?

Eh:

"Simply put, Garrett seems the right man for the job. But it's not the sexiest hire to Cowboys fans who have been drooling over the image of a Bill Cowher or Jon Gruden walking the Dallas sideline. Garrett is the better fit than those Super Bowl-winning coaches, and all you really need to do to understand that is look around the NFL playoff scene this weekend. Seattle's Pete Carroll, returning to the NFL after a successful (if we can still call it that) run at Southern Cal, is the exception. The other seven head coaches were NFL assistants and coordinators and are head coaches for the first time."

So, there are thousands currently out of work in Dallas-Fort Worth and Cowlishaw is somehow picking up a paycheck for this?

He points to Pete Carroll, who was AWFUL at New England his first go round, is the head coach of the most embarrassing development in the NFL of the past decade by bringing a 7-9 Seattle team to the playoffs.

Cowlishaw somehow correlates Carroll's ability to take a losing team to the playoffs to that of winning a Super Bowl like Jon Gruden or Bill Cowher -- both of whom apparently have a 100 times more integrity than Carroll, who oversaw a long line of cheating at USC and jumped ship. What a turd. Cowlishaw undermines two Super Bowl-winning coaches and props up a losing NFL coach in about 100 words. Nice!

Here's the rub with the hire: Jerry Jones has flubbed just about every non-Johnson and non-Parcells decision as general manager, to the point that trust with the fans is at an all-time low.

So we expect him to make the right decision with Garrett?

He screw up the Jimmy Johnson era. He fired Chan Gailey too soon. He hired Dave Campo. He ran Bill Parcells crazy. And he took a lazy and uninspired approach in hiring Wade Phillips.

Next: He took less than a week to determine that, yes, Jason Garrett is the answer. Maybe he is and maybe he isn't. But Jones did not take any real time to make a good decision. For all we know, he did not even seriously talk with Cowher, Gruden or any other assistant, college coach or former head coach.

Garrett was hired because:

1. Nichols is right, Garrett's familiarity with the team.

2. Garrett is cheaper than Cowher or Gruden heading into a possible lost season.

3. Garrett knows the score. He knows who signs the paychecks, has final say on players and makes the decisions. A convenient truth that our local media would soon pass over.

Jones put no thought into this decision, like he does a lot of decisions, and it might bite him in the ass and we'll go through all of this again in four years.

In my heart of hearts, I hope Garrett has a better fate than his predecessors. I think he's operates above the fray in terms of pandering to the spoiled fanbase and the testicle-less media. He's a different animal and I can appreciate that.

The Dallas Cowboys are a joke, and here's why

Jonesing

I really think the Dallas Cowboys and their fans should get used to the way things are right now.

No matter how much hope you put into Jason Garrett, Dez Bryant or any other prospects for the future, this team is destined to put together some good years, some bad years and the very minimum of playoff wins.

It's Jerry Jones.

I know, I know. Nothing's going to change, so why fret about it?

But there is a fundamental flaw in this organization and it has everything to do with David Buehler and it will forever keep the Cowboys from ultimate success until it changes. Which probably coincides with Jerry Jones' funeral.

The Cowboys took an entire shakey off-season, pre-season and season to bring in an experienced place kicker signing Kris Brown to a two-year deal with the potential of kicking field goals through next year.

Note: Kris Brown's been at home since the pre-season after getting beat out by Neil Rackers in Houston. And, Brown's a pretty salty kicker having made some ballsy long attempts in his career. Plus, he's a local guy out of Southlake Carroll High .

So, why was Brown at home all season and why was Buehler in uniform helping lose games? Because Jerry Jones is too fucking emotional.

When talk starts up about why a woman could never be president of the United States, people (mostly guys) point to the certain ... propencity for relying on their emotions too much, whilst being the leader of the free world often requires a divorce from feelings to make hard decisions.

Jones is too emotional. Too proud. Too attached.

At some point, Jones made the decision to start Buehler as the placekicker and field goal kicker. It'd save the team a roster spot and it would serve two purposes off a late-round draft pick.

It's not a bad move. Nick Folk was gone. Why not go for it? No one blames Jones for this.

However, by game No. 3 when Buehler was about as dependable as Texas weather, and the season was still on the brink, a move should've made.

But it never came. Buehler's performance continued to go up and down to the point that the Cowboys were completely out of contention and they were better off giving him opportunities to prove himself.

Bringing Brown into the situation in week 17 with a two-year deal exemplifies what's wrong here. Jones got mad. The Cowboys lost to the Arizona Cardinals on Christmas night by one point when Buehler missed an extra point.

Jones was irate afterwards and it laid the groundwork for Brown's arrival. Thirteen weeks too late.

This franchise is doomed. They will tease the fanbase with an occassional promising year only to be let down the next. Faith in Jones as a general manager ebbs and flows, never gaining enough steam on one side of the coin or the other.

Jerry Jones is the worst general manager in professional football.

Is Tashard Choice getting benched due to special teams?

Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones went on the radio airwaves and noted that third-stringer Tashard Choice isn't going to see any more carries until he cleans things up on special teams.

Choice's comeback: "It's best that I not say anything."

Smart guy.

Still, this is the reason the Cowboys are holding him back? Didn't seem like an issue in week 1 at the end of the first half when Tony Romo threw him that checkdown.

I call bullshit. B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T.

I think he's on the bench for several reasons. For one, the fumble on the play mentioned above. Two, the Cowboys have a lot of money sunk into Marion Barber and Jerry Jones has always been a guy to hold on to someone out of pride and ignorance. See: Phillips, Wade.

If Choice is benched becuase of special teams, why isn't Barber benched for his offense? He's putrid. He has no burst. Doesn't run with a lot of patience. It doesn't help that the offensive line stinks, which is why you need the better back.

Jones is making excuses and that's silly at 3-8.

Jerry Jones and the Dallas Cowboys: Are things as they seem?

Party!

In a political science class my junior year of college, we discussed the Cold War. During which, we were queried as to when it was first known that the United States had "won" the Cold War over the Russians?

Considering the Cold War was more about spending than spies, the answer was "Chernobyl," the 1986 nuclear meltdown in Ukraine.

At that moment, we learned, the Russian empire was crumbling. The money was running out, the resources thin. It resulted in a meltdown of very high and real proportions.

On some level, the Dallas Cowboys letting the subscription to their domain name run out coincidentally a hour after they fired Wade Phillips Monday was their Chernobyl.

It was a moment when you knew that things were not write for the Cowboys on a much more historic level than losing some games.

I wonder: Is everything all right with Jerry Jones and the critical infrastructure of the Cowboys' organization?

For months we've heard unsubstantiated rumors that Jones has been hurting for money having to pay off the construction and maintenance costs of that behomoth in Arlington.

There was the inability to find a sponsor for naming rights to the stadium. All of this on top of the collapse of the American economy several years ago and the rumors that those effects could be hitting Dallas-Fort Worth (tell that to the thousands who've been jobless the last three years).

On top of this are the contracts. Paying Jason Garrett a large sum to be an assistant. Giving large paydays to Tony Romo, DeMarcus Ware, Miles Austin, Marion Barber, Bradie James and Leonard Davis.

Then this season. The disappointment on the field possibly affecting how many people show up to the remaining home games including the annual marquee match-up on Thanksgiving. A game against the Saints that could have 75,000 fans donning gold and black.

Then, at this franchise's possible lowest point on Monday, right when Jones is almost forced to make the first ever mid-season coaching change, the website goes down.

Organizations usually set it up to where they automatically re-subscribe their domain name(s) every year to the point that there are no bills or letters. For whatever reason, the Cowboys didn't do this. I would assume someone got fired for this. But it's a telling detail of the state of things, I think, at Valley Ranch.

Not that Jones and Co. don't have the money to support their domain. He and they do. Not in the same way the Russians probably didn't have the money to maintain proper levels at Chernobyl.

Then, days after firing Wade Phillips and general managing a 1-7 team, Jones is caught on camera at a Las Vegas club with a young blonde girl, who probably just wanted her picture taken.

Jones looks weird. I don't think I've ever seen him not in a jacket of some kind, rarely without a tie. In the photo, he's wearing aggressively expensive jeans and a long-sleeved shirt. From the neck down, he'd look like a 35-year-old salesman from Addison. From the neck up, he looks like death.

Unfortunately for Jones, the game doesn't let up. Jon Daniels or Joe Nieuwendyk aren't in Vegas or Cabo San Lucas or Europe. Their jobs don't end even (especially) if Daniels' season is effectively over in terms of games.

How many other NFL GMs are partying this week? Most are poring over practice squads, tape, conversations with other GMs and owners. Many are trying to make their team better no matter how close or far away they are from the playoffs.

Right now, Jones is in charge of an NFL franchise in utter ruins. He can apologize for fans and season-ticket holders all he wants. All of that perceived sympathy is gone. Jones is trolling Vegas in jeans that probably cost as much as most of us spend on clothing for six months, while many people idiotically have 30-year payment plans on season tickets.

Jones just doesn't get it. Does he?

Wade Phillips fired

Wade

It was at least three games overdue. Possibly two years. Some may believe he should never have been hired at all.

The Wade Phillips era in Dallas is over. Jerry Jones pulled the plug. Now, Philips can join his daddy, Bum, on the couch this Sunday. Getting back to basics.

Jason Garrett is the interim head coach. All of this courtesy of CBS 11's Babe Laufenberg, who is really the only source reporting this.

Finding Jesus

O Jerry

I wonder if the situation surrounding the Dallas Cowboys will ever get so bad that owner and general manager Jerry Jones finds Jesus.

Meaning, will he get so desperate to pull this franchise out of the shithole will he cowtow and bring in football people to make football decisions.

It's the No. 1 gripe with people concerning the Dallas Cowboys. It's a perfect storm, of sorts. No matter how inept Wade Phillips is, how cocky Jason Garrett is or how many passes the receivers drop, the main problem is Jerry Jones serving as general manager and meddling owner.

And one thing we know as sure as death and taxes is that Jerry Jones ain't firing himself. This franchise is stuck with him until Jerry Jr. and Stephen lower his corpse into the cold ground.

However, the idea that Jones will relinquish some power is not unprecedented. It took a handful of 5-11 seasons for him to step aside and hire Bill Parcells. Of course, the New Jersey Con Man built a pretty salty football team in his four years. So good that even Wade Phillips won 13 games with it and finished sixth in the conference.

Jones knows how to do it. But will he again? Bigger question: Will he do the full deed and get out of the football side of the organization all together?

Because that's the other rub. It's not that Jones can bring in football guys. He did it with Jimmy Johnson in the 1990s and Parcells in the 2000. The issue is that those coaches find themselves trying to win with their owner on the sideline, the owner signing the checks to the players and coaches that the owner wants to sign checks to.

He's asking coaches to make filet mignon with tripe.

Case in point, Jason Williams. He was cut yesterday. He's the third from that 2009 draft following the footsteps of Robert Brewster and Mike Hamlin.

This is signifcant only because 2009 was the year the Dallas Cowboys could have reinforced a really strong, young roster, saved tons of cash and staked their claim as a playoff contender for years to come.

They wound up with 12 draft picks that year, but none in the first or second round. They traded their first rounder to Detroit. Would you have liked Percy Harvin, Clay Matthews Jr., Michael Oher or Hakeem Nicks? All were available near the Cowboys top pick.

The second-round pick went to Buffalo. LeSean McCoy, Shonn Greene, Phil Loadholt and Sebastian Vollmer were available.

Why did the Cowboys draft down? Because they were restocking their special teams. This is not a mistatement. In defense of their draft picks -- only three of which are still on the team -- they said that all would contribute to special teams.

None have. It's part of the reason why Williams was cut in the first place.

Jones not only has a mismanaged front office and coaching staff, but the team has been mismanaged. Good talent hasn't been injected. Thus the level of performance drops off and you're depending on Sam Hurd to catch third-down passes.

Jones needs a wake up call. Does that come at 1-7? Has it already hit and he's just waiting until the end of the season and the lock out?

If he does get Jon Gruden or Bill Cowher, how long do they last?

A substantial change has got to come.

Jones apologized to fans following last week's Jacksonville game. If he was really sorry, he'd fire himself.

1-4

AP, or Angry Viking

Some time in the second quarter in the Dallas Cowboys-Minnesota Vikings desperation game, I said out loud, "Is anyone actually coaching this team?"

I was referring, obviously, to the Dallas Cowboys. It was around the time that they had incurred a penalty (false start?) and then were force to punt and incurred another penalty for delay of game.

On a punt.

The entire time they would show Wade Phillips on the sidelines with a Ho-Ho stuck in his jowls, hemming and hawing at the referees about the price of cabbage and where he should eat after the game.

The Dallas Cowboys are ridiculous. They're 1-4 ridiculous and officially cooked. C-O-O-K-E-D. Like the Thanksgiving Day turkey.

Honestly, it was a very entertaining game because it was relatively well played, close and the Cowboys are comical like a Buster Keaton film. I do hope you're ready for a classic Wade Phillips press conference on Monday. The press will be ornery. Asking about mistakes, penalties, lack of execution and ... well, a win. But Phillips can legitimately come back and talk about all the good things. The Cowboys did run the ball. They scored points and had the opportunity to win late. It didn't work out at home.

One interception wasn't his fault. The kick return was just good execution on the part of the Vikings. And Brett Favre. How are you supposed to stop a future Hall of Famer.

I simply can't wait. Vikings 24, Cowboys 21. Let's rock this party.

Quarterback -- D
On one of those pre-game network NFL shows, someone (Shannon Sharpe?) said that we need to start disregarding Tony Romo's fantasty-fantastic stats and simply looking at the results. The results, this season, is 1-4. It's five pretty great games. During four of which his team has lost. If the quarterback is your field general and he lost four out of five wars, you'd probably get a new general. The first interception wasn't "his fault," but how many of his passes will be deflected for it to be a trend? The second interception ... there are good high school quarterbacks that pick up on that one. How many times does a NFL linebacker feign blitz and fall back into coverage?

Running Back -- D
Hey, I don't fault them for trying. They ran the ball 27 times and Felix Jones caught another 10 passes. He got 24 touches in all. Unfortunately, the Cowboys were overmatched up front on offense and couldn't get anywhere running the ball. As for the screens, they could not have been executed more poorly. Never could they get a block down. On one play, Kyle Kosier swung out to throw a block and the Minnesota cornerback dashed by him and tackled Jones for no gain.

Wide Receiver -- C
All the Cowboys receivers do is catch touchdowns. They caught six passes. Three were for touchdowns. Romo was forced into checkdowns the entire day. Receivers never made an impact. By the way, isn't the most disheartening aspect of the Cowboys' penalties issues that there are quite a number penalties by top players. Miles Austin had two big penalties: The excessive celebration and the pass interference that negated a touchdown. When Alex Barron holds, it's because he's bad. But getting penalties from Austin or Jason Witten is even more killer.

Tight End -- D
Zero impact.

Offensive Line -- D
As noted above, they were able to create zero room in the running game. Tony Romo wasn't sacked, but he was hit all day. Doug Free actually let Jared Allen dash at Romo, half standing in his stance as if the play hadn't started yet. The good news: No one was benched.

Defensive Line -- B
A really quiet game. One of those when you seem unimpressed until the fourth quarter and you realize that they've kept the best running back at bay. Adrian Peterson was a non-factor nearly the entire game and they got enough pressure on Brett Favre to keep him in pain for four quarters.

Linebacker -- B
Visanthe Shiancoe -- a Brett Favre pet -- was held catchless. They collected a sack and a fumble recovery. Obviously, the coverage was great and they were superb at run support.

Secondary -- F
It wasn't the type of game that Favre was going to throw for 300 yards. He had just 118 yards passing. But he threw it 19 times, completing 14. He had an efficient day. Cowboys secondary kept everything in front of them. They were not going to get beat. However, they weren't going to beat anyone. A good way to beat Favre is to cause turnovers and there was no chance of that happening because the cornerbacks and safeties were perpetually 30 yards off the ball.

Special Teams -- F
It is unbelievable how poor the Cowboys' kick coverage is. Especially considering their kicker is the best athlete on the field. I don't foresee Joe DeCamillis staying with the team too much longer. Also, is Akwasi Owusu-Ansah going to do anything returning kicks? Twenty-four yards as a long?

Coaching -- F
It's surreal that owner/GM Jerry Jones has to come out every week and tell the media that he's not firing Wade Phillips. That he would "never do that mid-season." As if it's coming. Just not mid-season, before a lockout. If Jones is smart (!), he fires every coach and starts anew.