Colonial, day one

Cink or swim

The great thing about pro golf in north Texas is that it attracts the hottest ass. Mostly hot rich ass. But hot, nonetheless. Let the Fort Worth Star-Telegram take you away. You have to fight through the douchebags with their gay visors and Titleist hats and you will find premium skirt.

The other great thing about pro golf is the golfers.

Here's are things are looking through one day.

David Toms -- -8
The leader after day one. Just days after choking away The Players Championship. The 40-something is clearly playing great golf.

Rickie Fowler -- -7
If you watched the Masters closely, you remember Fowler. He's a young kid that looks like a total dick (flat-billed cap, orchestrated wardrobe), but he can play some golf. Looking for a breakthrough. Let's see where he's at Sunday afternoon. Considered a huge contender for this tourney.

Stewart Cink -- -6
He finished second at the Colonial in 2000 and has never missed a cut in 14 attempts.

Adam Scott -- -4
Eh.

Sergio Garcia -- -4
Rory Sabbatini -- -2
I love that Sabbatini is always a favorite at north Texas tournaments because he lives here and he's won once. Kind of need to win again at some point. Remember when Sergio was relevant?

Jim Furyk -- -3
Anthony Kim -- -3
It'd be cool to see either win this tournament.

Zach Johnson -- -2
OK day one. Needs to ramp it up for the weekend.

Jason Day -- +1
Yikes. So much for him.