Dez Bryant loves the Sunglass Hut He was given a criminal trespass warning at NorthPark Center for a disturbance after off-duty police officer cum mall security stopped him and his crew for their pants fall down below their waist.
I have nothing against "keepin' it real" and whatnot. But here are some ground rules:
1. You don't "keep it real" at NorthPark Center. Why? Because it's full of snooty white folks. It's like "The Wire" not taking place in urban Baltimore, but on Martha's Vineyard or the Lincoln Memorial.
2. Are we still "bagging" our jeans? Really?!? Come on, Dez. You're a grown man now. If you're going to "keep it real," at least get caught with a dimebag or a handgun. This is the professionals.
3. What are we still doing at malls? Why "keep it real" at malls? Is it cool being at Neiman Marcus? Burberry? Gucci? Hugo Boss? Lids? Or the Apple store? Malls are dumb to begin with. Pretending to be cool at malls is nothing short than a cry for help.
Of course, Jerry Jones would've given a kidney to have his 1990s Cowboys get a criminal trespass citation at a mall in lieu of their actual infractions.
