Pow! Winning the Tampa Bay series was the cherry on top.
Then beating the New York Yankees to win the pennant and a trip to the World Series is like getting a blowjob.
A blowjob while eating a sundae.
The Texas Rangers -- Texas fucking Rangers!!! -- beat the New York Yankees 6-1 tonight to win their American League Championship Series 4-2.
It is the Rangers first pennant. Their first trip to the World Series.
Everything is gone. All the weight and burden are gone. That massive, perpetual guillotine blade that hung over the heads of this franchise and fandom is gone.
No more are they one of the teams to not win a pennant. No longer do they have just one measly playoff victory. No longer are they a laughingstock on any level.
It's all real. It's all good. It's all different. It's a new age in sportsdom in the Metroplex. It's no longer five Super Bowl rings, a Stanley Cup and a trip to the NBA Finals.
Insert: World Series. It's happening.
I can safely say that this is the the greatest day of my sports life. When the Cowboys won that Super Bowl was probably No. 1 before now. The Stanley Cup third and the NBA Finals fourth.
With those other teams, the expectations were there. With the Rangers, it's been a wild, insane ride since fucking last winter. It's come to this impossibility made possible.
My hair's standing on end. It's been this way for three hours. Everything's changed.
There were heroes. These are them.
Colby Lewis
What a performance! What a night! On the biggest stage, when the lights were brightest and his team needed him more than ever, Lewis delivered. A year ago, he was in Japan. Soon, he'll pitch game 3 of the World Series. The guy was as dominant as just about everyone not named "Lee" or "Halliday." He cruised. Threw 102 pitches. He used any number of pitches and kept the Yankees guessing all night, evidenced by the weak pop-ups and groundballs. Lewis' post-season: 18.2 IP - 11 hits - 3 runs - 11 BBs - 18 Ks. Cripes!
Ian Kinsler
The sac fly was huge. The get on Robinson Cano's double play grounder was even bigger.
Vladimir Guerrero
Right when all hope and faith was lost in our Vladdy, he absolutely crushes a Phil Hughes fastball into left-center field beyond any conceivable reach of Curtis Granderson. This, after the Yankees intentionally walked Josh Hamilton to put runners at the corners. No respect. Guerrero taught a brief, excitable lesson in respect.
Alex Rodriguez
Being the final out -- on strikes, no less -- was symmetry. Poetry, even. It was a perfect end. Neftali Feliz could've gotten Jorge Posada to ground out, but it would not have been as awesome as striking out Gay-Rod. Perfect.
Bengie Molina
I largely ignore Molina. You could point to getting Granderson stealing second, but that wasn't even a very good throw. Without Kins' tag and Granderson popping his foot up, he's safe. My acknowledgement of Molina's leadership came after Alex Rodriguez scored from third after the hit by pitch on Nick Swisher. The ump screwed the call to holy hell. Molina knew it. He he gave that dumbass ump hell. It was really cool to see a player fighting like a fucking rabid dog for the win.
Dave Robertson
For being the worst relief pitcher in Yankees' post-season history. He's the anti-Cliff Lee or anti-Mariano Rivera. Against the Rangers: 2.2 IP - 8 hits - 6 ER - 1 BB - 4 Ks.
Elvis Andrus
Josh Hamilton was named the MVP. Deservedly so. But Andrus is a salty second choice. The offense was only matched by the defense. He's stellar no matter what he does. Getting the bat on ball on the Mitch Moreland hit and run ... that's a 10-year veteran move. Twenty-two year olds do not make that play. They don't make a lot of plays that 22-year-olds make. He's a phenomenal athlete.
